Ah, the joys of working with little ones (and their parents)! LOL

I wouldn't panic about his until say - tech week? But if they are that unreliable, and you can't get in touch with her, I would assign the lines to another cast member who is dependable and shows up to rehearsals.  Of course it would be better if you could contact her first and warn her if they have one more unexcused absense, that the lines will be given to someone else.  Tell her why......that it is imperative at this point that the cast members with lines be there and say their lines, with the blocking, for the benefit of the whole cast and the flow of the show.

If the programs must go to print already, then leave their names in the program. Normal patrons won't relate the character name to the kid speaking anyway. I always try to wait until the very last minute to print the programs, so I can add those last minute additions, deletions, and thank you's. It NEVER fails. someone new always ends up helping me out tech week, and I swear I couldn't have lived without them.

Be prepared though, that if she does decide to start attending rehearsals, and finds out that her "little darlings" lines have been given to someone else, she will be upset and likely pull them out of the show altogether. I would imagine that this would be of no big loss to you or the show.    There are no small parts only small actors.

They've only missed three rehearsals?  Out of how many?  Well, only you know if there is really a problem or not.  Assuming that there is:

Subtlety does not work with parents.   I've worked with kids a dozen different ways -- shows, coaching, umpiring Little League, teaching Law Day programs -- and I tell you again:  subtlety does not work with parents.  Certain parents are, I believe, people also, and when they are being people, logic and normal forms of communication do work.  But when they are being parents, they are not people, they are parents, and they don't listen.

I guarantee you, the other kids are watching this and saying to each other, "Why don't Muffy and Poindexter have to come to rehearsal?"  Bad situation for all concerned.

Tell them straight out (by letter if necessary): "I'm sorry, but as with all activities, because your children cannot commit the time necessary to prepare for this show, they will not be allowed to participate.  Please enjoy the show as our guest."  That's what a football coach would do, that's what the Math Club would do, and that's what you should do.

Doing theatre in a college town we get many students who come up the homework excuse for quite a few rehearsals.  I came to the point about 3 years ago that I type up a list of "cast expectations" and hand those out at auditions, the first read through and send it out in a cast e-mail the first week of rehearsals.  In it I say something to the effect that "if cast every cast and crew member is expected to attend all rehearsals and meetings he/she is called for.  In the case of multiple absences and extensive conflicts cast members may be removed from scenes and/or removed from the production entirely."  I make sure I speak to the offending party twice about it - once in person and once via e-mail - because I like to have hard copy proof that to show the board or producer that I spoke with the person about the issue.  If the problem continues I give the board and producer a heads of what I'm going to do and then make sure a board member or another person from the production staff there when I speak with the person.  If the person doesn't show up and the decision has to be made quickly, I assign the parts to someone else and mess around with waiting. 

If someone wants to black ball you - you sometimes can't avoid that.  I would try to safegaurd myself from that - but your one of your biggest concerns should be that the show is the best it can be.  It's not fair to the rest of the cast, crew, orchestra (if applicable) to not have as many cast members at rehearsals as possible.

If "homework" is an issue - you could offer (I've done this) to let the child work on homework during his/her downtime at rehearsal.  Invite the parent to come to the rehearsals and work on the homework with the child in another room. 

I'm also a parent and am actively involved in theater with my kids. 

"Too much homework" can also translate into a parent's plight: "I'm too busy." 

The phone being disconnected also says to ME; "I've got other, more important issues I'm trying to deal with right now."

Is this a single mom?  Maybe the dad work evenings?  Is she having financial difficulties?  Is lugging her children to rehearsals something she has the time to do (after making sure they're fed dinner, dressed appropriately, finished their homework, etc. etc)?  Are there other smaller children in the household who can't be left alone while mom drives back and forth from rehearsal?   Does her work schedule depend on the older kids being around to help out with the younger ones?

All I'm saying is:  you don't know what this mom's home situation might be.  It's possible this parent is simply over-booked.  Haven't we all been there at some time?  Our jobs, our families, our prior commitments -- all prevent us from doing other activities that we enjoy.

If you want to do this mom a favor, I suggest offering a ride-share solution with another family who might live nearby.  This mom might be glad to have her children picked up and dropped off without the added chore of transporting them herself.

Good luck!

I work with the kiddies, too--but at jr and sr high level.  I put a line in the contract I require all parents and kids to sign that homework is not an excuse to be removed.

I also indicate that although this is an extra-curricular activity, all cast members are expected to keep their grades up and do homework or work on lines and characterization when they are not working with the production staff.

I have a thought that perhaps the children in question are struggling in school and mom has thrown an ultimatum--you can't go back to drama until your grades go up.

Just a thought--but I also agree with POB that it could be financial reasons or the mom is just too busy and over-committed.

Hope it works out well.