I have just gone into production on a musical, and I am watching an attraction growing between two members of my production staff (AD and SM). I know that you can't force people NOT to be attracted, but I am really concerned about them getting into a relationship during this production. First off, it makes other cast and crew uncomfortable to be around a couple that is... amorous. Second, when relationships go sour, it is understandably difficult for people to continue working together.

Any advice on how to handle this??? I realize that I could opt not to say or do anything at all, and if you think that would be best, I would appreciate that feedback as well. It seems Draconian to lay down rules about this kind of thing, but another director told me that she explicitly tells her cast and crew her feelings about this on the very first day of rehearsal (she doesn't strictly "forbid" it though). Ack!!!

Thanks for the advice, Linda! As you can probably tell, I'm really squeamish about approaching this topic, and I think that your use of humor may be the best bet.

Ironically - I would be happy for these two if circumstances were different. They are both doing great in their respective jobs, and they are really nice folks to begin with. They have a lot in common, and it makes perfect sense that they would fall for each other. However, if things continue on this trajectory, I'm going to have to find some way to appeal to their sense of professionalism and ask them to keep it low-key.

Fair enough, and thank you! It is nice to hear when this situation goes right, and it sounds like the "compartmentalize" approach works best.

The first full-length play that I directed had two performers dating.  I'm sad to say there was more drama backstage than on-stage that year.

Since then I've had to deal with it when I discover a couple are interested or dating each other.  Last year I had my production stage manager "cheat" (went on a date with a different girl--don't read into this) on my assistant stage manager.  To add to the chaos, the girl he dated had just joined the make-up crew.  Once I found out, I brought all three together and had a meeting.  I explained to the newly added crew person that I needed my PSM and ASM more than I needed her and I was going to have to drop her from the crew to prevent anymore disruptions in the rehearsals.  After dismissing her, I privately laid into my PSM and ASM about keeping the personal lives out of the rehearsal hall and their responsibilities in maintaining a safe environment for people to be creative which cannot happen when they're fighting.

Generally, a couple of my students get to know each other during the "bonding" of drama, and they may even end up dating.  But other than making sure they are constantly chaperoned by an adult, it is not usually a problem.  I agree--lay down some ground rules at the first rehearsal so everybody knows what their commitments have to be to work with you.

I met my wife when we were in a show together.  Didn't start dating until it was over, though.

You can't control emotions, but you can control behavior.  No slap-and-tickle in the theatre.  Save it for the opening night party.

Parenthetically, why do people feel the need to crawl all over each other in public, anyway?  Just to prove they can get a girl/boy friend?

Or am I just an old f**t?  (And yes, I'm aware these aren't mutually exclusive)