Theatre Terminology

Actors

(As defined by a set designer). People who stand between the audience and the set designer’s art, blocking the view. That’s also the origin of the word “blocking”, by the way!

Assistant Director

Individual willing to take on special projects that nobody else would take on even for a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain dead actor whom the rest of the cast has threatened to take out a contract killing on.

Bit Part

An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody’s lines and mention repeatedly that he or she has the smallest part in the show.

Blocking

The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as to not collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit, or each other.

Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to argue with you.

Blocking Rehearsal

A rehearsal taking place early in a production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by Opening Night.

Dark Night

The night in the week before opening when no rehearsal is scheduled so actors can go home and get some well-dserved rest, and instead spend the night staring sleeplessly at the ceiling because they’re sure they needed one more rehearsal.

Dark Spot

An area of the stage which the lighting designer has inexplicably forgotten to light, and which has a magnetic attraction for the first time actor. A dark spot is never evident before opening night.

Director

The individual who suffers from the delusion that he or she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review.

Dress Rehearsal

Rehearsal that becomes a whole new ball game as actors attempt to maneuver among the 49 objects that were suddenly added at 7:30 that evening.

Eternity

The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line.

Green Room

Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go onstage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn’t get a babysitter for the night; a situation which can result in justifiable homicide.

Hands

Appendages at the end of the arms used for manipulating one’s environment, except on stage, where they grow six times their normal size and either dangle uselessly, fidget nervously, or try to hide in pockets.

Forebrain

The part of the actor’s brain which contains lines, blocking and characterization; activated by hot lights.

Hind brain

The part of the actor’s brain that keeps up a running subtext in the background while the forebrain is trying to act. The hind brain supplies a constant stream of unwanted information, such as who is sitting in the second row tonight, a notation to seriously maim the crew member who thought it would be funny to put real Tabasco sauce in the fake Bloody Mary’s, or the fact that you need to do laundry on Sunday.

Lighting Director

Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the Stage Manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything’s that going wrong.

Makeup Kit

Among experienced community theatre actors: a battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of desiccation, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted pencils, bobby pins,liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes, and a handful of half-melted cough drops.

For first time male actors: a helpless look and anything they can borrow.

Monologue

That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if he forgets a line no one can save him.

Prop

A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.

Set

An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the law of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space.

Stage Crew

Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.

Stage Manager

Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and holding back the director to prevent him from killing the actor who just decided to turn his walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea.

Strike

The time immediately following the last performance when all cast and crew members are required to stay and dismantle, or watch the two people who own electric screwdrivers dismantle, the set.

Tech Week

The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute; reaches its grand climax on dress rehearsal night when the costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown. Also known as “hell week”.

Opening Night

The audience has paid money to see what is actually the final dress rehearsal, as there has been no rehearsal where the entire show was done without stopping. This evening’s performance is often a total surprise to cast and crew, who by this time are so exhausted they just hope they can get through it. This is very different from what the audience perceives, considering that the audience thinks the entire production was put together in a few days.