Hi Note.....here's my "off the top of my head" response:  This sounds like a novel or even a short story if you work in that genre.  Theater should be driven by dialog and visual story telling.  I cannot "see" this story as a series of motions or tableau on the stage.  I also have trouble with your single character who has a lot of inner dialog.  You need some characters with "outer" dialog too or at least some sort of action to keep the audience engaged.  The "four people sitting around the table talking about how hard life is" type of play may work occasionally but usually the audience stays away in droves.  What makes your play interesting?  The character is musical?  He is gay?  He contemplates suicide?  Sorry to tell you this but it has all been done before and most of it was dreadful.  Do you expect that by making your character a hip-hop performer ( writer?) you will engage an audience that does not normally attend theater?  That is a good gesture but you had better be prepared to promote your play shamelessly because I think the hip hop community would rather spend their entertainment dollar on a good club where they can enjoy the music and dance and drink than on a traditional play.  Maybe you should try a different approach to this piece.....something that could be performed in a club setting...something fresh, maybe even part improv.  Anyways, good luck in your efforts, don't stop yourself from writing anything that your heart tells you must be written.  It is a pity that theater is a business as well as an art.