FIRST, where can I get a copy of your Get Smart stage play?

SECOND, I directed the play Unity: 1918 by Kevin Kerr, which calls for a full-size polished wooden dildo.  Our props maker couldn't stop giggling.

Get Smart stage script:

When I was in college, I helped to make a six-foot long phallus out of foam, that was covered in gold lamé fabric, for a production of Peter Barnes' "The Bewitched." It had handles on the sides! A very bizarre play, and an even more bizarre production!

Well, besides the Audrey II puppets for LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (what a nightmare THAT was - the smallest puppet even had an articulating tongue), I have made an answering machine with lots of ‘special effects’ and a shape to accommodate the full head mask for THE NERD (with the mask on the answering machine, the eyes glowed in unison with the audio coming from the machine), a kite and rigging to have the kite swoop up exactly on cue, and then free fall on cue inside the theatre for the musical YOU’RE A GOOD MAN, CHARLIE BROWN!, 'electronically controlled' train wheels that gave the illusion of turning to the rhythm of the song in THE MUSIC MAN, a wall on a set that had a human head and hands emerge from it for THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE, and a mantle that silently 'swallowed' the Indian figurines by remote control for Agatha Christie’s TEN LITTLE INDIANS (that was the title back then).  That was a favorite of mine.  Using misdirection and clever staging, the audience could never figure out how the figurines disappeared so quickly after a murder.  Isn't theatre FUN?

We did a musical called Santa's Toy Camp where one of the lead characters was a frilly princess doll in the beginning and throughout the play removed the frills and lace to reveal a full fledged ragged ann doll.  Think of the island of misfit toys.  Key part was that this dress had to do from over the stop princessy to simple rag doll each show.  I made a simple baby blue satin A line dress and attached layers and layers of basted white chiffon with babay blue hearts via velcro.  These not only comprised, the sash, the collar, the sleeves, but also the entire dress below the knees.  After dis-assembling the dress throughout the entire show, the girl stood on stage with her red striped stockings, her simple blue satin A line dress and chiffon bow in her hair.  It was at that point that santa explained to her that her true mission in life was not to be a princess doll, but a rag doll and handed her an apron.  The best compliment we received was that none of the people in attendance saw the subtle transformation until the end.