I am stage managing Seussical and at intermission when I went backstageto do my thing and call times one of the guys came up to me and said, "So and so has the penis."  I said, "Huh?"  He said it again. I said, "What the heck are you talking about?  He said during the show someone winks at someone else and says PENIS.  Then that person has to pass it on.  At the end of the night whoever has it has to buy drinks for the cast.  They do this onstage!  DURING THESHOW!!  I have no way of really stopping this except of course telling them to but we all know how that works, right?  Anyone ever heard about or ...be still my heart... played this?

What the...? Tell them you will personally remove all "said appendages" if it is mentioned again. 

Yup, someone would be holding a disconected REAL one if they did that on our stage.

Just to CLARIFY - many of you have referred to a removed appendage if they did something that disrupts a show.  This largely is directed toward the male gender - and I'll grant that the majority of the screwing around that I've ever seen, comes from that segment. HOWEVER, I've worked with more than a few persons of the more gentle gender (you'd think) who were just as much a bad influence in getting someone else to screw things up or doing something themselves that was much too much game playing onstage, as any capable appendage holding gender (those with removable ones) had ever done.  Just trying to point out it isn't always the games that boys play - the gals do it too - and sometimes to a much greater degree.  I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've had to open a book, magazine, or newspaper only to find clip art from some females PLAYGIRL magazine!! So let's not always just blame the boys.  If you want equality ladies - by all means you get it in this regard as well - at least in MY experience that's been the case.  Fair is fair.  It has NO PLACE AT ALL in theater - boredom or not.  Zero Mostel for one was famous for that and he was a pain in the ass from all accounts because of it. But hey, he was ZERO MOSTEL.  Sorry - I don't get it.  And I NEVER EVER tolerate it if I'm director. Just no time for games when as a few have said, you have an audience who is paying money to see the performance.

Ah yes, "one of the guys" - but anymore that's gender non-specific.  Some of the gals I've worked with over the many years I've been involved CAN REALLY be classified as "one of the guys" in many cases.  Some are more butch than I ever thought I was.  But that's another subject and I am not prejudiced against anyone.  Just saying that the "one of the guys" line CAN be gender blurred if not totally non-specific.  And even the fairest of these gentle women can be as playful and often as crass as any testosterone motivated boy.  Just sayin' - ya' know?  Games!! Stage is NOT the place for those kinds of things when people are paying for quality show.